kids | Ashley Ludlow

From a Mother, On Mother’s Day

by Ashley | May 8, 2016

I woke up to the smell of bacon and a soft sizzling sound coming from the kitchen. I quickly rolled over as thoughts of young children attempting to cook flashed through my mind. I was relieved to find that my husband, Russ was not in bed next to me. Now that I had ruled out a kitchen fire, I lay in bed wondering if I should get up or pretend to be asleep until breakfast was brought to me in bed. I finally decided to head to the bathroom.

About 30 seconds after locking the door and sitting down, I heard someone attempting to turn the locked doorknob. Even on Mother’s Day I can’t pee in peace.

After heading back to my bed, I heard my baby from down the hall. He was babbling to himself in his crib. “I have to get that happy baby in my arms.” I thought. But how was I going to obtain him without being seen? If Russ caught me going to get the baby or changing a diaper, I might get sent back to bed to “relax”. I peeked my head out of the door to be sure no one was coming, then I darted down the hall to the baby’s room as quickly and quietly as possible. I slowly opened the door to find Ethan standing in his crib grinning from ear to ear. I scooped him up in my arms and squeezed him, smothering him with kisses. We then sped back down the hall to my bedroom.

As I was snuggling with Ethan, I peered down at Logan, my 3-year-old son. He had slept at the bottom of the bed near my feet. I don’t remember him there when I fell asleep, but he was there when I awoke this morning. My heart swelled with emotion. I am SO grateful to be a mom.

Then a thought came to my mind.

Mother’s Day isn’t about escaping from motherhood for a day of rest and relaxation. Sure, it’s always nice to be waited on hand and foot, but that’s not what it’s about. It’s not about sleeping in, silencing the children, or showering in peace.

Mother’s Day gives my family the opportunity to fully express their love for me both verbally and through sweet gestures and gifts. And, I love that! But today I learned that Mother’s Day means so much more.

Mother’s Day is a day to hold my babies a little longer – to look more deeply into their eyes and listen more intently to their words – to spend more time with them and really relish in the amazingness that is being their mom. It brings awareness of the wonderful blessing and opportunity I have to be a mother. My heart is so full of gratitude today.

I hope that you can find a reason to be grateful today and always. Never forget how amazing you are.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Children Will Listen

by Ashley | Mar 23, 2016

ITW(1)

Earlier this month, I did my final show for Into the Woods. I played the Baker’s Wife. It was my first lead role in a musical, and it was a wonderful experience. Not only do I love the cast I got to work with, but I also love this show. The messages in this show are so deep and profound and meaningful. I want to share with you one message from this show that has been lingering in my mind this week.

“Careful the things you say,

Children will listen.

Careful the things you do,

Children will see and learn.

Children may not obey,

But children will listen.

Children will look to you

For which way to turn,

To learn what to be.

Careful before you say, ‘listen to me’.

Children will listen.”

You may or may not be a parent and have children at home, but regardless of that, your words and actions influence children (and adults for that matter) around you.

One example comes to mind. At my church, people from the congregation are often contacted, either in person or on the phone, by the church leaders to give a talk or speech in the main meeting on Sunday. As a child hearing these people talk, nearly every person who got up to the pulpit would mention something like this:

“I really tried to avoid Brother So and So, but he cornered me so here I am.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have answered the phone when the Bishop called.”

“I’d like to say I’m grateful to be here speaking to you today, but I’m not.”
“I don’t know why they asked me to be here. I should have called in sick.”

Thoughts like these may have been authentic, and may have even gotten a laugh from the audience. But, as a child, when I heard comments like this, they translated to:

“You should avoid phone calls from leadership”

“You shouldn’t want to speak in church”

“It’s not cool to like being in front of people”

etc…

I accept that these were my perceptions, and I take personal responsibility for that.

But, because of these perceptions, even though I absolutely love being in front of people, I stopped showing it. I’d pretend to be annoyed when I got asked to speak or teach in church or school, because that’s how all the adults acted. I thought I was supposed to feel that way.

It’s funny now, looking back, because it’s ridiculous. But children don’t know that. Children are building their world based on observations and words spoken from those around them.

Children will listen.

This is a hard line to draw, because authenticity is very important. If you are a person who truly struggles with being in front of people, I can understand possibly making mention of how terrified you are, or how hard it is for you to be in front of the audience. We can support each other. I also believe that we should feel safe to express how we are feeling.

But, sometimes kids don’t understand jokes or sarcasm. The jokes about avoiding someone who might ask you to do something important can be misread.

Maybe this example is far-fetched and a little too personal. But how many of you parents have experienced a moment where you hear your kid saying a curse word or a phrase that’s crude? Maybe the child picked it up from parents, TV, school, etc… But she was listening. She is forming her world based on the conversations and context happening around her.

Children will listen.

This is why I feel so strongly about positive self-talk. Do the kids around you hear you saying things like:

“I’m so fat. No more cookies for me.”

“I can’t keep up with everything. It’s never good enough.”

“Why doesn’t anything work out for us? We just can’t catch a break!”

How great would it be if our kids heard us saying things like,

“I’m getting stronger every day! I’m really thrilled that I beat my best time for holding a plank!”
or
“I really got a lot accomplished today. I feel great.”

or even
“Today certainly didn’t go as planned, but I’m happy I got to spend it with you.”

Children will listen.

My challenge to you (and one for myself) is to be more conscious of the words we are speaking (take it a step further to the words we are thinking!). They impact not only children, but they impact US. We are, after all, children at heart.

Being conscious of what we say will make a positive influence in our lives and in the lives of those sweet children too.

“Careful the things you say,

Children will listen.

Careful the things you do,

Children will see and learn.

Children may not obey,

But children will listen.

Children will look to you

For which way to turn,

To learn what to be.

Careful before you say, ‘listen to me’.

Children will listen.”

ITW(2)

Don’t forget how amazing you are.

Being a Mommy

by Ashley | Mar 14, 2013

Some days I forget.

I forget how extremely blessed I am!

I’ve been given these amazing little ones to love and to teach.

And that is AMAZING.

I was watching a music video today. It had a young woman dancing around with a bunch of her friends singing about how great it was to be young and to be single and free. A part of me wonders what it would be like to be in my twenties and not have kids. What would I be doing? Where would I live? Who would be my friends? And, most importantly, would I be happy?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we can’t live our lives wondering “what if?” Doing so will only lead to sadness and regret. Wherever we are in our lives, we can make it special. We can make today great! We are experiencing life the way we’ve created it. And, some of the experiences that I am having are experiences that someone else would give up anything to have.

So, for me, being a Mom is the best! I love it! And today was an especially good day where I could SEE it (I mean, look at that picture! Isn’t he the cutest?).

Whatever it is that you’re experiencing, breathe it in. Don’t let this moment pass you by. Decide that today is a good day.

-Ashley

She Still Asks If She Can Sit On My Lap <3

by Ashley | Feb 27, 2013

So, I didn’t feel super productive today. I didn’t do ANY songwriting, I did bare minimum in cleaning house and cooking. I folded clothes, but didn’t put any of them away, so there’s a pile on the couch and in a basket on the floor. I didn’t attend any conference calls or webinars, although I had some on the schedule (thank heavens for recordings). I’ve been sick the last few days and I still don’t feel like I’m back at 100%.

However, one thing that I did do today, more than I do on any other day, was spend time with my kids. I lingered with them a little longer. I let them climb on me. I sat and watched their cartoons with them. I hugged them, tickled them, kissed them a little more than usual.

And you know what? I feel really happy. I laughed with my baby. I snuggled with my boy. I read books to my kids before bed. I let go of the guilt that I would normally have.

How many more years of giggles and little feet will I have? My son still gives me hugs and kisses before he gets on the bus. My daughter still asks if she can sit on my lap. My children still reach out for me, cry for me when they’re hurt, and come to me with their problems. They still need my help, and willingly (usually) ask for it.

My heart is full tonight as I think of how blessed I am to be the mother to such wonderful children. It can be a challenge, but days like today make it SO worth the frustration, pain, and tears. I think I’ll make more days like this.

And maybe I will write a song about it.

-Ashley